June 10th, 2003

rivka as ww

State songs are terrible

Try here if you don't believe me. They're so, so bad. New York, with so many to choose from, instead chose this (not for the faint of heart). Likewise Texas.

Kansas, Florida, Maryland and Virginia can all compete for racial offensiveness (or really in Maryland's case Civil War irredentism; but have no fear, Illinois is still ready to kick Southern booty). Missouri offers possibly redeemable dialect. (Z. also suggests that the mention of the Red River in "Home on the Range" is a structural flaw, given that the Red River is in Texas and not Kansas.) Like Kansas, Colorado celebrates genocide and, bonus!, species extinction. On the other extreme, Hawai'i celebrates the king under whose sovereignty it no longer is, New Mexico has Spanglish, and Montana welcomes Indians back.

We've got several spelling lessons, odes to dead women, state capitols, phosphate mines, a conviction that all of our children are above average, and a curious resort to thys, thees and thous, as if hoping we'll think these have been around since the days of the King James Bible, as well as o'ers and ne'ers, flow'rs, tho's, and, perhaps most odd, "builded".

Arizona seems somewhat confused about the deity invoked, or might be nicely pluralistic; it's hard to tell. North Carolina sneers at the witlings who defame her. (Which reminds me of the old punchline, "gee, we don't have any songs about you.") Ohio seems to be the songwriter's lover.

Connecticut, at least, has a sense of humor, if not a state-specific song. Louisiana pulls a trick -- who'd ever have thought that the last few verses of "You Are My Sunshine" are about that state? Who'd have wanted to think that? Delaware's is overwrought, but who'd notice amidst all the others? Georgia has one you actually might know, sappy as it is.

Perhaps I should make a special exception for Rodgers & Hammerstein, but -- "pertaters"? Have some dignity, states! In that light, I might have to nominate Pennsylvania's as dignified, possibly too much so. Vermont's actually moved me, and Washington's almost did, though it's spoiled for me by comparison to Washington, DC, which doesn't have a song of its own any more than it has Senators and Representatives of its own. Ahem; </political>.

With those few exceptions, if the flaw's not with the song, it's in the selection. Tennessee has the hilarious Rocky Top, but suffers from having not one, not two, but six different state songs, which is cheating. Wisconsin's song is near and dear to my heart, as I spent a big chunk of my childhood there, but get this: it was written for Minnesota and only had its name changed at the last minute. "On, Minnesota!" That's just not right.
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rivka as ww

Confidential to Doctor Science

AOL is refusing to send mail, so, just so you know: It's totally your fault that the latest story has turned into "5 *zillion* things that never happened to Lex Luthor," now that I'm rewriting the coma!Lex to cover much of the first two seasons and to be the centerpiece.

Spoilerific: Collapse )